There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Did we literally take a cab across the street
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
