so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I will be naked everywhere
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
