I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
