So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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