I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
