I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
