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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after

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• (607): View more from New York

  I've blown a few things in my day

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again

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• (805): View more from California

  You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?

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• (619): View more from California

  No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?

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• (707): View more from California

  I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!

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