so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
