I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
