I'm going to rape someone's good day.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
