You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
