The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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