Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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