Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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