That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
