Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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