Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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