Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
