let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
