I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
