Me too!
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just gift wrapped bread.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
