i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
