if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
