why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I think I died a long time ago.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
What drink are we having for lunch?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
