u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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