I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
false alarm. still invincible.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
