we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
