can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
