No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
