Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
