At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
