I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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