I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
