YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
