Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
