I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
