it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
