Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
