the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
