I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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