margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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