god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
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