I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
