I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It's not a walk of shame if you run
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
