I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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