I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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