I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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