you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
