And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
