I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
