maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
