Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
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