she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
