This girl is more easily done than said...
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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