He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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