I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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