He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
