I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
