i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
