ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
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Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
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I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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