so that wasnt chicken after all
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
