if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
