dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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