bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
i need some magic done to my vagina
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
