Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
handjob tips. give me some.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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