I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
