i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
