also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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