I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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