11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
