but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize